Even if someday you realize you weren’t actually soulmates, it still means everything, and will always mean everything, because when life felt impossible and the future seemed bleak that person showed you that you could belong. And for the first time in your life you don’t feel alone. And, sure, there’s probably a whole world of people out there who could understand you like they do, but you don’t know that. It’s that thing, right, where you’re in a small town and nobody understands you and then suddenly you find one person who does. Watching Ellie and Aster connect - even under the guise of Ellie as Paul - is overwhelming. You aren’t a love story, but that doesn’t mean your love story is any less important. The Half of Itįrom Drew Gregory’s love letter to The Half of It:
He is the embodiment of toxic masculinity and she shrugs him off like her fur coat. The most triumphant moment of the film comes when Carol walks out on Harge (and a roomful of male lawyers) after declaring that she will not live against her grain.
No, Haynes invited viewers to see the men in his movie - these husbands and boyfriends and duplicitous know-it-all notions sellers - through the eyes of queer women and to laugh openly at their silliness, unearned confidence, and expendability. He also made the bold decision to allow Carol‘s audience to laugh at men. Carolįrom Heather’s article on Carol’s Oscars snub:Ĭarol‘s director, Todd Haynes, who was also snubbed by the Academy for the first time this awards season, refused to center on masculine experience ( he cut a scene where Therese gave Richard a hand job, for example, deciding to eschew all male pleasure on-screen). It was the tenderness of Desert Hearts that got me, the hope, and the idea that a woman didn’t need to have it all nailed down by the time she hit 30, that a woman could give in to what she wanted and just figure it out as she went along, no matter how young or old she was, or what she’d committed to do or be in the past. Where I grew up, lesbians were witches, and witches burn, and I knew that. The death and dismemberment and dashed dreams of the films I saw before it, that was all fine and good and unsurprising. Desert Heartsĭesert Hearts is the first lesbian movie that made me cry. That’s the power of a queer identity - no matter how short-lived. The fact is queerness freed Jessica from the confines of an expected life and whether she wants to date another woman or settle down with Josh Meyers that will always be true. But the years have passed, and as my own queerness has changed my relationship to my family and myself, I’ve realized I’m really more of a Helen anyway. I related deeply to Jessica and her rejection of queerness felt like a betrayal. Hideko and Sook-hee lap at each other and buck their bodies against each other and want each other so, so much. Now let’s talk about those actual sex scenes! They are long they are spitty they are sweaty. There are classic lesbian period drama erotic images like Sook-hee and Hideko undoing approximately one thousand buttons along each other’s spines, like Sook-hee watching Hideko pull on gloves, like a bathing scene that is maybe the sexiest scene in the whole movie, and I’m including the actual sex scenes. Then there are the erotics that Hideko seizes for herself, ones that are technically taboo and yet entirely her own. Yes, this is ultimately just a gay movie about overcoming trust issues. But Corky isn’t a man and her gamble pays off. She’s only a femme fatale in the sense that she’s a femme and if you’re a man and you deserve it she’ll kill you. It’s not subversive to have Corky trust Violet, but it’s absolutely subversive to have Violet prove worth trusting. As Violet says, with Corky it’s sex - with everyone else it’s just work. Violet uses her sexuality to get what she wants, but with Corky it’s genuine.
Corky isn’t a fool and Violet isn’t evil. (And if you’re looking for movies about friendship and misandry, Carmen’s already got you covered on that!) Please weigh in with your own helpful suggestions in the comments!īound doesn’t queer the genre just by making them both women - it queers the genre by deepening both characters. Bonus points if it’s a film that does both of those things! Drew and I made a quick list of 10 queer movies that’ll surely make her break up with him. You can watch a queer movie with your friend that is just so dang sexy they might catch on fire, or you can watch a queer movie with your friend that has a misandrist angle to it. Someone recently found Autostraddle by Googling “movies to make her break up with him” and, friends, it really touched my heart! Because we’ve all been there! Wanting the girl we like to break up with some stupid boy! Drew, our resident queer movie expert, and I talked it out and decided there’s two ways you can go here.